a piece of the Pii
June 13th, 2008
Related to the post on Super Pii Pii Brothers below, I wanted to tell a quick story…
I went yesterday to try and get a replacement social security card (lost mine) and the line was absurdly enormous. I asked the guard when was the best time to show up, and he said at 7am, when they open. So this morning I dragged myself onto my bike and rode over. Sure enough, there were hardly any people there, and I was able to get my form in with minimal hassle.
Two things of note happened:
1. They make you go through a metal detector and put your bag through one of those x-ray machines. It turned out that I had a fork in my bag, left there from when I was working at Sundance and getting salads every day — I got tired of wasting the plastic forks they would always give me, so I brought in my own. I’d wash it every day and leave it in the edit suite where I was working. It was great.
Sidenote: Apparently if you want cashiers at Cosi to think you are nuts, tell them you don’t need a fork with your salad. They will look at you as though there’s no other way to eat the damn thing you idiot!
Anyway, I had forgotten to to take it out of my bag. The guard manning the x-ray looked me dead serious in the eye and said "We can’t let you take a fork in here." Even at 7am the guards are paid for one thing only: to be serious. I love it. I took the fork out, and put it outside the office door on Fulton St, downtown Brooklyn. Just up against the wall near some other trash, figuring I’d get it on my way out.
I was in there for less than an hour. It was 7:30am. The fork was gone.
I love this town.
2. As I was standing at the window while the guy processed my form, I let my eyes wander around to look at the official-type office notices they had on the walls. One was this nice glossy poster that said "Beware! Everyone wants a piece of the Pii!" Then underneath it there were a number of photos with small text under them.
A photo of a pie on an oven rack (seriously). Then a photo of what looked like some filled-in forms. Finally a photo of a shredder. Hmmm. I really focused my eyes and was finally able to make out the words, under the large bold "PII", "Personal Identity Information". It was all about identity theft.
But I couldn’t stop thinking how great it would be if it was actually referring to Super Pii Pii Bros. Because you know, I’m pretty sure everyone does want a piece of the Pii.
I wanted to sneak a cell phone photo of it, but you know, the vibe didn’t feel too right. If they’re not allowing forks in there, I don’t think they’d like me taking photos of their Pii.